just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
