she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
