Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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