Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm passing your future prison.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
