So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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