Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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