just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
