you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize