I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
