Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
