i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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