they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
