I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
