He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize