remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
