smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
