I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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