there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize