I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
