and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize