After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
