Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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