At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
