I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
