Me too!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize