I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
