brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
