hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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