he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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