if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
