the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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