It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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