the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
