the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
