I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
