my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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