I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
