I must be too annoying 4 u.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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