perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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