ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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