Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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