Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
