i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
