I got chris browned last night
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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