Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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