you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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