i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
