I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
