Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
