i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
