Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
