I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
wow bdsm is so cute
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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