If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
