The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
