I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
