My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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