I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize