Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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