my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
