its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
