I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
