i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
